The Brotherhood of the Unraveling Pants
by lolailie22
Summary: A odd twist on the popular and bestselling novels The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. What happens when five different guys get together all wearing jeans? You can only read to find out...
1. How it All Happened

Introduction:

The Brotherhood of the Unraveling pants began with one nice pair of jeans, just like most do…

It was a bone-chilling night where if your tongue went mad near a metal pole, you would be stuck until the fire department unstuck your bipolar tongue. A group of unlikely friends were huddled together in their clubhouse, which was a moldy and mildew-y garage that was abandoned by its former master on the corner of huckleberry avenue and a place the gang liked to call "Freaky Deeky Leaky Fishing Area". The group of comrades consisted of Henry, the shy one, Tony, the wild and quite naughty one, Wendell, the anxious one, Fabio, the poor one who was always looking for either food or money, and Darius, the handsome one who worked part-time as a bellybutton model. They were telling stories of creepy mad men and just really weird men along with some monsters and zombies. All of the sudden, while Darius was in the middle of a pointless and quite stupid story (Darius was stupid because of course, no one can be as stunningly handsome as Darius and be intelligent also, its scientifically impossible) a bolt of lightning struck the club house's golden roof (which was donated by Wendell's parents and was quite conductible) and all the boys' denim pants-also known as jeans- unravel, making them look like they'd been working on the railroad all the livelong day, but they had not so it was quite a sight. The lightning made them all super-amazing which meant that they were destined to be a brotherhood and so it was-the brotherhood of unraveling pants.

Once in a blue moon brotherhoods are created which happen to be the best creations in all mankind, not mistaken as womankind. They are very rare and when one is made, tears of joy spring from all the member's eyes for they know that they are the most exuberant and food-worthy of all the forsaken people of our planet. Beyond the grasses of the fields and far more closer than the ones we love are the brotherhoods for that is why we never find them, because they are always too far away and too near. It is a very intrepid thing of brotherhoods to come out in the open, because everyone wants to be a part of the prominent gatherings they hold and the momentous events and memories they share. Sometimes people go to great and enormous and gigantic and amazing and stupendous and very strange heights to become associated with a brotherhood, which of course, can almost always lead to the death of the person trying to be affiliated with the group or one of the people who was already affiliated. On a less enervating note, C# to be exact, here we find Wendell, the geek of the Brotherhood of the unraveling pants, playing the kazoo.


	2. Meet Wendell

Wendell has gained great renown from his vast talent for playing the kazoo- one of the paramount and preeminent of all instruments, with a membrane that produces a delightful humming sound that can only be found in the musky depths of the murky Mogglepie Lagoon which is where LonLon lives, a frightening bear who eats kazoos all day long. Now, back to Wendell…

Most say that he is the wanderer and seeker of the group, because if you go to the site babynames dot, as in period, com, as in commercial, you would find out that that is exactly what his name means in the masculine tongue of German. But really, Wendell is not a seeker or a wanderer; it is really his brother Woody who is the seeker and wanderer of none other than Wendell because Woody was not chosen to be part of the brotherhood like Wendell. Whenever the moon grows small, Wendell prays that Woody won't find him because he forgot to take Karate with his brother when they were little which anyone can conclude is pretty darn bad if they were both ever to get into a fight.

Wendell's parents are the richest people in the universe because of their wonderful idea of selling bottled computers. They were an overnight success and own most of the world so some might say the rule the world along with Barry Manilow. So here Wendell is, playing this difficult instrument in his 470 bedroom mansion, as his father barges in and says, "I want you to take off your pants!"

Stunned and excited in an awful way, Wendell asks why. In frustration, his father, Joe Mama, whispers, "Because they are ripped and I can no longer look at you in them." Of course, Wendell kept his brotherhood a secret from his parental unit because if they knew, he would be cut off from the tremendous fortune since his father was an active member of the Anti-Brotherhood of the Universe Society Enterprise also known as ABUSE. Wendell's options were limited, if he took of his sacred pants, he would no longer be part of the brotherhood and they were his only true friends so he kept them on while wearing a silk bathrobe over them so his father couldn't see them. Problem solved. Now on to Fabio- living in an environment much different from Wendell's- the streets of Yugoslavia, which had been his filthy home ever since he was born in the world.


	3. Fabio's Sad Life

**Ok so I've only gotten about five hits so far... thats all. It has only been two days since I posted the second chapter but no one has really been interested out of all the people looking. Well I guess I'll just keep on posting chapters until the story's over and see how much people like it. I would like someone to review so that I know if its horrible or if its awesome or if its in between. Oh well. I guess all I can do is drool over Darius and wait...**

Here he is, lying in a decaying cardboard box without a friend, a bath, a toothbrush, a hairbrush, or anything else used for hygienic purposes. All he has is a newspaper from three months ago the only thing he can read in it is the funnies without words. He has no shirt; all he has is the knowingness of being in a brotherhood and his unraveling pants. Wendell wanted him to live in his mansion, but it might have given away the secret of the brotherhood to his already suspicious father and his desperate for excitement mother, Belle E. Flop. But on special occasions, such as their monthly meetings, Fabio is snuck into one of the many bedrooms of the Mama Mansion. These visits are the ones that he holds close to his heart. They are what he thinks about as he begs passers by for food or money or tries to forget about the emptiness inside his belly. He dreams of the next get-together where they feast on pant-flavored foods until their tongues grow numb. He also dreams of the room that he accommodates in the Mama Mansion- it is usually the Greek-themed room with royal columns and a four-poster bed. He even has a golden toilet seat fit for a king in that room. Now- back to reality- - -

This story, for your information takes place in the future- 2222 to be exact and so it is not a surprise when Wendell along with Henry fly down on their new, state-of-the-art hyper-engine super amazing turbo booster shoes with the latest built-in hover feature. Fabio is filled with joy and his stomach calms down, as he wonders if those technological shoes are edible and also knowing that they have brought money which can be used to buy food.

Although, there was something wrong, and Fabio knew it, so his stomach started to rumble again, as all starving people know, you have to be one with your stomach because after a while it gains a mind of its own, literally. Like, it starts being intelligent and has feelings and stuff like that. So he shouted to them, "What's up? I thought we weren't supposed to have one of our meetings until next Thursday."

But, alas, Henry was distracted by the lovely Alina Brugal passing by and couldn't hear him because her tremendous beauty inhibited his all his senses except for sight. So he hovered away and started following her earnestly down the glum streets. Little did he know, she was from the United States and loved lacrosse which meant that she was in amazing physical condition and could kick his tiny behind later when she became suspicious of him stalking her in a local donut shop fifty eight blocks away from where Fabio lived.

But, alas yet again, Wendell did hear him and he shouted back, "Yes, it's an emergency! Apparently the Tailor is missing!"

Now, the job of the Brotherhood of the Unraveling Pants had always been from the start that they would try to find a tailor to fix their unraveled pants. That way, they could all still be friends, but they wouldn't be forever bonded to the magical spell that kept them bonded to the pants. In order to fix these magically unraveled pants, they needed a magical tailor. And there was only one magical tailor in the world, who was last seen in 2005- but he was magical which means that he could live for an extremely long time like all magical people usually do unless they die in a duel which is what magical people do. Wendell played a great part in their trying to find the tailor, known as the Tailor. He used his great amount of wealth to buy history books on legendary fabric-fixers and he even hired a team of very expensive detectives. When that wasn't enough, Darius posed his righteous bellybutton till he had enough money to buy an actual genius that knew everything. And after they got the valuable information from this diligent soul, they used him from time to time and hung out with him at coffee shops also. His name was Cal Culus and he admitted to being the closest to with Tony which was quite odd but quite awesome at the same time. Cal said that he knew of a Tailor that was known for great and fantastical events such as repairing the untamed button of the Sparkly and Bedazzled Sweater that only the cherubs could wear because of its vast supernatural powers. His scissors shone with the intensity of all the luminous stars of the galaxy, his threads were made of pure gold yet they weren't solid like gold is at room temperature, according to the Periodic Table of Elements, but they were magic, so there isn't a need for an explanation to its absurd chemical property. He was also known for dating and eventually marrying the Baker Fairy, but they've been separated ever since the Tailor had a scandalous affair with her secretary's dry cleaner.

When Fabio heard this and saw Henry stalking Alina, he knew that life was just a bowl of chili and that if you use mouthwash, people will like you more than they usually do. Now with the knowledge all people should know, he got up from his decrepit box and was ready to have dance off, but he couldn't feed this sudden urge because he had to help find the Tailor. So they left without Henry, because they knew he wouldn't be back for a while.


	4. Finding the Tailor

**This has been going good! Special thanks to xsummerbabyx for all her awesome reviews and support! Even though it may seem like I finished this story up don't worry there will plenty more! But the thing is that tomorrow I'm leaving for Europe! Wootttt! Yes, me and LiliacSnow are gonna have an awesome time in Scotland on tour with out orchestra! I'll definitly try to write more chapters while I'm there so I can update as soon as I come home! Keep on reviewing and if you like this story you might like my new one- Holding on and Lettin Go- its more serious... well MUCH MORE serious but its getting really good so please I need some people reading that! Ok well love you lots!**

But, alas yet again, Wendell did hear him and he shouted back, "Yes, it's an emergency! Apparently the Tailor is missing!"

Now, the job of the Brotherhood of the Unraveling Pants had always been from the start that they would try to find a tailor to fix their unraveled pants. That way, they could all still be friends, but they wouldn't be forever bonded to the magical spell that kept them bonded to the pants. In order to fix these magically unraveled pants, they needed a magical tailor.

There was only one magical tailor in the world, who was last seen in 2005- but he was magical which means that he could live for an extremely long time like all magical people usually do unless they die in a duel which is what magical people do. Wendell played a great part in their trying to find the tailor, known as the Tailor. He used his great amount of wealth to buy history books on legendary fabric-fixers and he even hired a team of very expensive detectives.

When that wasn't enough, Darius posed his righteous bellybutton till he had enough money to buy an actual genius that knew everything. And after they got the valuable information from this diligent soul, they used him from time to time and hung out with him at coffee shops also. His name was Cal Culus and he admitted to being the closest to with Tony which was quite odd but quite awesome at the same time.

Cal said that he knew of a Tailor that was known for great and fantastical events such as repairing the untamed button of the Sparkly and Bedazzled Sweater that only the cherubs could wear because of its vast supernatural powers. His scissors shone with the intensity of all the luminous stars of the galaxy, his threads were made of pure gold yet they weren't solid like gold is at room temperature, according to the Periodic Table of Elements, but they were magic, so there isn't a need for an explanation to its absurd chemical property. He was also known for dating and eventually marrying the Baker Fairy, but they've been separated ever since the Tailor had a scandalous affair with her secretary's dry cleaner.

When Fabio heard this and saw Henry stalking Alina, he knew that life was just a bowl of chili and that if you use mouthwash, people will like you more than they usually do. Now with the knowledge all people should know, he got up from his decrepit box and was ready to have dance off, but he couldn't feed this sudden urge because he had to help find the Tailor. So they left without Henry, because they knew he wouldn't be back for a while.

When they finally got to the old clubhouse, everyone was there-Darius, Tony, Cal, Wendell, and Fabio. It was a rule of the brotherhood that there must be five people at the meetings so Tony invited Cal Culus, but being the genius he was, he was an hour late because he was busy learning his fifteenth language, Guatemalan, while helping discover the lost city of Smaloniage. They were huddled together in a semi-circular circle, like they had been when that bolt of light lightning struck. Tony was smoking a feather, Darius was grooming his bellybutton, Wendell was meditating, Fabio was shoveling loads of pork grinds down his mouth, and Cal Culus was trying to get everyone to start the meeting, After much thought, Fabio brought up the idea of having a dance off so their brains could work better. So they did and Darius won because he was so incredibly gorgeous. Now there was a problem- Cal had gotten a letter saying that the Tailor was dead but could be brought back to life in they all took off their unraveling pants and did a ritual. See, the ritual had to be perfect- they had to make a feast of fabrics, then they had to feast on the feast, after that they had to slowly peel off their pants, after the peeling portion of the ritual, they all are required to consume a vat of pore-diminishing lotion. Then the problem would be solved. But no one wanted to remove their pants except for Darius because he is known for doing thousands of squats daily. So to get all the brothers' confidences up Darius decided to become their trainer.

Everyday he'd make them wake up extra early in the morning and he'd spoon cod liver oil and carbonated flaxseed milkshakes into their mouths to give them extra energy. Then he made them run for an hour on the treadmill, do 550 pushups, 300 sit ups, and 600 squats. They did these workouts six days a week for three months and after they were very fit and looked great. Although, going by the laws of the world, Cal lost some of his brain in the process because that's what looking good does to your brain sometimes when you are as diligent as Cal was. But no one care about him except for Tony who decided to go bungee jumping off the Grand Canyon without a bungee, which turned out to be pretty stupid.

So, they were all buff and confident and the only thing was that they had to practice consuming pore-diminishing lotion. There were many flavors such as peach, cherry, mango, and wood- the best seller. Everyday they each ate a vat of crème and practiced talking to girls because most of them were dateless after the ritual except for the attractive Darius.

Soon had come the day when the stars alignment was perfect for eating lots of cheese which is in the family of rituals so it worked out extremely nicely, almost too nicely… but they did it anyway and lived happily ever after until something happened- which is what I'm saving the second book for.

The End

Or is it... (it isn't)


	5. The Small Henchwomen

**Ok so as you have noticed I am very quick to update with this story... and it must freak some of you out! But the thing is that I just love this story idea and write very quickly. If you can understand this chapter than you are amazing and we are very compadible and could probably be friends in the near future. I think this is probably my last chapter until I leave for Europe---which is today! Wish me luck in Scotland and when I get back I hope to be surprized by many wonderful reviews! lol luv you all lots!**

Chapter Five- The Small Henchwoman

Now, we left the gang consuming extreme and possibly harmfully detrimental amounts of facial lotion which was only made for external use only. Anyone could see this clearly on the label but no one cared because they were too excited about meeting the famous Tailor and his crafty and seductive assistants that lived in his pockets. Their names were Ann L. Eyes and Candy Barr.

Ann was an undercover faerie who was Thumbelina's second cousin twice removed and was twice as small. She loved listen to Gospel music even though she wasn't religious at all. Everyday she would give dance lessons to underprivileged children from ten in the morning to three in the afternoon because she enjoyed the retirement plan that the occupation provided.

When she worked for the Tailor she would be the one to check over his work to see if he was doing everything according to the code of magical and supernatural people. If you had amazing eye-sight and took one look in her perpetually analyzing eyes that were as small a breadcrumb you would probably faint not only because they were breath-takingly stunning but also because of the tremendous power that illuminated from them. To be frank- she was quite terrifying in all her beauty and power which was why she was one of the Tailor's assistants.

Candy Barr was exactly the opposite of Ann. She was as sweet as her name suggests- always willing to give a hug even though she was so small and would probably get squished by the "hugee" unless, of course it was someone of her height. Candy wasn't as seductively alluring as her colleague but was attractive in the enormous amount of friendliness she harbored in her tiny body.

But she was also not as intelligent like Ann… well, she wasn't really intelligent at all and no one really knows why she was one of the Tailor's henchwoman because she really had nothing to do with his line of work except for loving to go shopping for clothes in the extremely petit children's section. All she really would do when she worked for him was tag along and try to look pretty which came very easily to her.

Even though they were very different tiny people with very diverse feelings on life and personalities they were best friends and always got together for lunch at their favorite African Café even after the Tailor passed away because of overexposure to hair. Who would've known that that was the major cause of deaths in magical tailors!

Anyway, what Darius, Wendell, Tony, Henry (who was now back with the group from his Alina Excursion), Cal (who was now an official member of the group according to Tony), and Fabio didn't know was that the Tailor's real name was Ed Venture who was an evil menace and had been planning to overthrow the Brotherhood even before they became one…


	6. Gary the Robot

"Thank Hank those little brotherhood dweebs revived me from the dead!" the Tailor bellowed to his henchwomen he had just recently retrieved from their new lives and brought back to the old headquarters which was located right above the 156-year-old octopus lovers gift shop.

The 'Hank' this evil male seamstress was referring to was his old friend Hank Erchif, the joyful asparagus who had been eaten right in front of the Tailor with lots of cheese. Of course, Hank had been greedily consumed by Tailor's arch nemesis, Carl Arm, who wasn't a hero, but a professional bad-guy nemesis that is paid by the hour.

Anyway, the Tailor was summoned from his dormant state by the brotherhood so he could fix their pants, but this would never come to be because Ed Venture was wicked and wanted to destroy the brotherhood. He wished to demolish them because the pants represented everything against fashion, his earliest love. One of the main reasons was that they were unbearable cheap, all purchased from dominating supermarkets such as Wal-Mart, Target, and Kohl's. Just thinking about the money they saved to not wear a designer label makes him want to eat a huge ball of mercury-incrusted foil.

He was also after the brotherhood for revenge.

When the tailor was just a young embroiderer (which was about a century ago, since he was magical and ages super-slowly), he lived with his widowed mother in the bowels of Argentina, growing oranges in the cracks on the pavement of the sidewalks for food and money. They had a small shack made out of dried grass, and his only prized possession was a needle and a spool of thread that seemed to never run out. One miserable day, a young man came to town, about fifteen years older than Ed. His mother found him charming and debonair, and soon married him. The soon-to-be-Tailor thought that with the nuptials complete, his life would change for the better, and he would have a pleasant life with a happy family, like the ones he dreamed about and saw from neighboring towns. Yet, no one likes hearing about happy endings and they never really happen anyway, so as anyone can conclude, the tiny Ed was wrong. It turns out that this man was in fact Henry's great-great-grandfather, and completely bankrupt as well as an intolerable drunk. About two years later, he disappeared, leaving only his gambling arrears and pungent smell behind. Soon the law enforcement took away the only things they owned, including Ed's cherished needle and spool. Pushed out on the street, the shock caused his poor mother to loose her mind and become the village nut who talked to herself and anything else that seemed friendly, like a tree. She died in Ed's arms, her tormented soul finally put to rest. As he gazed into his dead mother's pain-filled eyes he promised himself that he would find the man who made their already difficult lives even worse.

The thought of vengeful vendetta never left his mind, even when he lived in the monastery, of which the people so lovingly took him in, and also stayed engrained in his mind as he became the apprentice of a magical tailor and continued on the road of life. The Tailor had seen the brotherhood through the eyes of his crystal mannequin, which allowed him to view anything in the past, present and future and also was connected to the Internet and could be used to order take-out. He couldn't get payback on Henry's great-great-grandpa since he died; yet he knew that he would be just as content with a blood-relative suffering for his pain. When Mr. Venture heard that not only was Henry the great great grandson of the man he held with the most intense feeling of loathe ever since the Third World War that was started over a light bulb and a ball of lint… which is a totally different story, but also a part of the brotherhood which he also hated, he couldn't wait to devise a plan to destroy both the gang and Henry.

"So, what's the plan, boss?" Ann replied, hoping to get down to business after a long time of being unemployed.

The Tailor nodded, and retrieved a scroll from his enormous pant pocket, that he designed himself. He unrolled it and spread it out, as if it was made of a fine material that should be handled with extreme care.

Then he motioned to them to come closer, so that he could reveal his sinister plot in an intense whispered voice…

"Cal, when is this Tailor guy supposed to show up, anyway? Didn't we go through everything to make him come back… my mouth still tastes like lotion!" whined Wendell to Cal Culus, the brotherhood's genius new member.

"Well, according to my vast and accurate knowledge, he should have been awakened when the ritual was complete. He knows we summoned him and should be in contact with us shortly, unless he has some unfinished magical business to settled, and then we shouldn't expect him for at least a month." Cal responded impeccably.

"So what do we do now?" Tony questioned, obviously bored.

"Road trip!" cried Darius, and with that they all rushed to get packed.

So innocent in their ignorance, the group headed to California in their banged-up van, coated with rust. Unbeknownst to them that an evil vendetta was being planned right under their noses and that they were being watched through the eyes of a slender crystal mannequin.


	7. A Duel to the End

**hey to the people who actually read and review! I got back from Europe a while ago and then neglected to write more... so here's a lot more, about two chapters! My teacher mr. chen's in it... you can tell I hope he likes it lol! R&R!**

To assist them with their evil deed, The Tailor and his assistants hired an evil robot named Gary that loved rocks, science, hockey, and an Italian. He was invented to study eighth graders in their natural habitat and then destroy them with the evil laugh he practiced in the mirror when he had nothing to do except talk to his rocks-which was always. Yet, when that failed he dedicated his robot life to making kissing noises, throwing books on the floor, kicking backpacks, and shaving his head so that he looked like an army recruit.

So, the outfitter and his henchwomen came to RoboGary's lonely apartment stuffed full of rocks from various places of the universe to make his life meaningful. He quickly agreed because he needed to get away from the piece of Connecticut that he was having a feud with, the tension was unbearable and getting to him. They paid him in Coke and fossils until he cried at how sad his life was. Then, they all shared in an evil laugh, but then they stopped because Candy was giggling and it made them uncomfortable.

Meanwhile, the brotherhood had made their way to Utah, when suddenly, their van breaks down and they meet up with S-Club 7, who were trying to find out how they could become famous again. But, it would never happen so the brotherhood stole the forgotten singing group's car and started up again on their naïve adventure.

They were all singing some Spice Girls songs when they realized a weird-looking man with rocks in his passenger seat was following them.

Henry and Darius screamed in unison, "Look! We're being followed!"

"Yes, I that weirdo's been following us ever since we got off at that last exit" Wendell remarked, taking a turn, only to have the creepy and sinister man do the same.

Cal was studying him through the rear-view mirror, and could tell just by looking at him that he was lonely, liked science and needed a life, which were both traits of a serial killer or at least a lunatic. His psychology knowledge told Cal that he was going to try to kill them.

"I've got an idea guys," Cal said.

"Does it involve playing Hummus or Humus Trivia?" Tony asked, excited to try to beat Cal at a game.

"No, but its going to be fun, trust me!"…

"I'm following the unraveling scoundrels, they have no idea, I've disguised myself as a science teacher going to the rock dealer." Gary the Robot said into the walkie-talkie built into his mechanical structure.

"Great, make sure to look extra-pathetic so they won't take you as a threat." Ann Eyes responded cruelly because he could not get any more pathetic.

"Oh! They're stopping, over and out," he said hurriedly, with yet another menacing laugh.

He had no idea what was waiting for him as he parked, kissed his schist for good luck, and got out of the car, ready to kill.

"Alright guys," Cal whispered to the gang that was huddled behind a huge tumbleweed on the shoulder of the winding and empty highway. "Remember what to do as soon as he gets close enough," and they all nodded in approval.

They watched as the strange man wandered around, admiring the rocks that were on the ground as he made his way closer to their hiding place. The anxiety rose as the braced themselves for ambush. He slowly made his way…

Then he kicked the tumbleweed almost like it was a backpack, and revealed the brotherhood. Before he could do anything, they started to stone him. How ironic, to be hurt by the only friends he has besides a family of close pins that look like crocodiles. Yet, the stones merely penetrated his skin and since he didn't have any nerve endings, he felt no physical pain. However, the emotional pain was overwhelming, how come his beloved rock friends were trying to injure him?

"Not you too, Breccia," he said just before he collapsed on the ground in shock.

"Awesome!" They all jeered, glad that their brilliant friend's plan had worked.

"Alright, now all we need to do is tie him up and reboot him so that we can get the answers we need!" Cal stated, retrieving the "unbreakable" rope from his survival kit.

After having tied the strange man and rebooting his system with much help of Cal, the unraveling brothers of the hood were ready to get information.

"Where am I?" the confused rock-lover exclaimed as his system was restarted. He took one look at the bizarre group surrounding him and everything flooded back into his memory chip. "Great, I've been captured." He muttered sarcastically and looked at the rope tightly binding his limbs together.

"Yes, we have made you our prisoner!" said Wendell, almost shrieking.

"And you are not going to be let free unless you tell us who sent you after us!" Fabio added, trying to sound like he knew what was going on and wondering if he should become a cannibal.

"Fine," the pathetic prisoner said with a sigh. He knew he would regret letting out all the information, but he didn't want to see what else they could to do hurt him they obviously had tremendous powers. Then RoboGary told them all everything he knew, which was basically everything they needed to know to defeat the Tailor and his assistants.

"So my Great-Great-Grandfather was a gambling drunk?" Henry questioned in astonishment.

"I'm afraid so. It happens to the best of us." The robot said meaningfully. "Um, so now that that is over… I was wondering… if I could um be your guys friends!" With that said, the eyes of everyone widened with bewilderment, and then understanding.

"Yay! We have a Robot Slave… I mean Friend!" Darius shrilled, giving Tony and Wendell a high-five.

"The only thing I'm worried about is how we should go about defeating this surprisingly evil Tailor," stated Cal, trying to stay on track.

"I have an idea!" Chimed the gang's bizarre new mechanical friend, and they all circled in and whispered for dramatic effect…

"Any minute now we shall be victorious!" The Tailor exclaimed to the two faeries that were giving each other manicures. Usually, he would like to be the one to complete the promise he made to defeat all brotherhoods that shamed the name of fashion as well as anyone related to the man who had ruined his life so many years ago. Yet, the Project Runway season finale marathon was on and he didn't want to miss a single stitch.

"What if they defeated him?" Candy asked airily.

"Trust me, they definitely don't have the brains or strength to take that robot out." The Tailor said confidently, obviously not knowing that the brotherhood had Cal Culus helping them out.

So the henchwomen turned back to buffing their nails, and the Tailor went back to reality, reality TV that is.

Meanwhile, the brotherhood of the unraveling pants, accompanied with their new "friend" headed back to where the Tailor supposedly hid. When they finally arrived at the 156-year-old octopus lover's gift shop, confidence overpowered them all because they knew their plan could not fail.

Everyone knows that ordinary humans cannot defeat magical beings, like the Tailor and his assistants; the only way for them to be gone from the earth is through a duel with another paranormal person, yet even then a ritual or something peculiar can bring them back like that. So the brotherhood kept this information in mind with their plan to conquer the evil villain they had so foolishly restored to life.

The brotherhood bunch had listened to Gary the Robot's plan, and found it to be rubbish about taking over the world by enslaving middle schoolers so they resorted to turning to Cal and one of his brilliant ideas yet again.

Cal suggested that they find the Baker Faerie, the Tailor's ex-wife who he had cheated on so many years ago. They met at Emeril Lagasse's show Emeril, in which they had front-row seats right next to each other. He was marveling at how he found popularity with just a one-syllable word while she was marveling at how he prepared such delicious meals without being magical. They hit it off and got married yet, the Baker Faerie turned out to be a depressed mess. Always dwelling on the past, especially about her human baker father who was killed by a pharaoh, while his friend the cupbearer was spared. Consequently, in the end, they had a bitter divorce laced with the poison of the Tailor's affair.

So, Cal contacted this wretched and disheartened supernatural that, after years of throwing sharp spoons at Ed Venture's portrait, quickly obliged to dueling him. Here they were, Fabio, Wendell, Darius, Tony, Cal, Henry, RoboGary, and the Baker Faerie, quite an odd bunch standing outside of an odd shop, looking up at the open window on the second floor which was where Project Runway was being blasted from a TV set.

"How are we going to-?" Fabio began to ask but was cut off by Cal.

"Well, the procedures of dueling are quite simple. You just call them up and ask politely." He said sensibly.

Of course, that was not what Fabio was referring to; he wanted to know how they were going to get past the octopus-lovers with their calamari salads in hand. Alas, no one cared so the Baker Faerie took her super-fantastic spatula and contacted her ex.

Within moments the Tailor came parading down with his assistants hovering behind him and weapon of choice in hand- a Jagged Measuring Tape with retractable razors. One look at his former companion and he replaced his smug smile with a cold grimace, they obviously had issues to work out.

The Baker Faerie pulled out her Whisk of Doom, and with that everyone not involved in the combat backed away so not to come in contact with the fury they had bottled up for years and years.

On the sidelines, Cal was explaining every detail as the two battled it out to curious Wendell. Fabio, Darius, RoboGary, and Tony took their shirts off and painted their skin in batter and rooted heartily as if at a spectator sport, taking sips out of their sparkling turnip juice every so often. Henry was the only person completely silent, which was probably because he had no faith in the strength of women and he knew that if the Tailor wasn't crush in triumph, he would be the first on the embroiderer's hit list.

Finally, after about two hours of warfare, with a deep grunt, the Baker Faerie thrust her deadly whisk into her former husband, killing him instantly. She fell to the ground with victory and exhaust as the Tailor's body exploded into millions of needles and thimbles.

"Who's up for some brunch?" Candy Barr questioned everyone friendly, not saddened by the loss one bit. At this, one and all followed the two henchwomen to their favorite African Café and civilly chatted about the weather and other respectable topics.

Fin.


End file.
